- I've started and restarted this blog at least four times. Fifth time's a charm.
- I'm dedicating the format of this one to a cool cat teaching in Japan. She writes her blogs in lists and I've always really enjoyed reading them (mainly for the words but also for the format).
- I recently visited Oregon. The trees were big.
- One of the reasons I went to Oregon was to see my longtime mate, Arie, get married. I don't like weddings, but I did enjoy standing with him before and during the ceremony.
- During the ceremony, a cock started crowing repeatedly. Another cock in the distance echoed it. They were literally serenading the two soon-to-be-weds with their cockerel ways mere minutes before those two big words would bind the lovebirds' hearts and ring fingers forever.
- They served pulled pork sammies after the wedding, which was a strong decision by whoever made it.
- I got pulled pork sammie all over my fingers and used the boutineer they made groomsmen wear as a makeshift napkin.
- When my first fiction story gets published, I will spew great gushing tears of grateful joy, or maybe I won't. Maybe, just maybe, when it gets published, it will be so unexpected, and the circumstances surrounding it so convoluted, that I'll just stare at the acceptance email, shocked. And later, when I'll want to share that I've had my first story published on my lightly trafficked blog, I'll realize I simply can't, because those circumstances that I just can't explain involve a friend I just can't lose. Or, you know, maybe not.
- While in Oregon, I was enjoying some time off from Kauffman Stadium and my dinky job as a photographer of fans.
- Now that I've returned, I find myself scheduled to go to Kauffman Stadium for ALCS games.
- The job got a lot cooler while I was away.
- If the Royals win just two of the next five games, they will be in the World Series. Which means I'll be in the World Series, doing my markedly cooler job.
- The Royals haven't even made the playoffs since 1985, so it's been rather convenient that this is the year Unpredictable Life has me in Kansas City, working at Kauffman Stadium.
- Jewels and I watched a delightful documentary from the nineties about the National Spelling Bee called Spellbound. It was hilarious and smart. At one point it showed people arranging letters on one of those reader-board signs, congratulating a local student for winning a regional contest. After the people finished, they moved away from the sign to reveal that they'd misspelled 'champ'. They'd spelled it 'chapm'. The camera zoomed in a little bit on the word, paused as if perplexed, and then zoomed in even tighter, as if making fun of it.
- When a girl in another town made it to the national bee, the docuteam decided to interview a man who appeared really supportive of the local girl, saying vague things like, "We're so happy for her. We're gonna root for her cause she's a part of this community," or whatever. It was a short clip, and afterward the viewer sees where this guy's been talking from–inside a Hooters. The guy owns a Hooters and was getting sentimental as he talked about how proud he was of this adolescent spelling whiz.
- Hilarious
- Also, the Hooters building had its own reader-board sign, which had a message congratulating the young whiz. All the words were spelled correctly.
- I used to work at a grocery store (Roth's Fresh Markets), and I would periodically climb a ladder to change the reader-board sign. One night the message that I was putting up required a "J". I rarely put up "J's". After I finished the sign, finished my shift, and was sitting in my car to head home, I glanced at the sign and noticed I'd put up my "J" backward, so that it looked like a curly "L", you know? Anyway, that was embarrassing, so I shouldn't be making fun of reader-board sign doers.
- I really want a job at the Kansas City Star. I'm considering applying to be an "Inserter" at their printing facility. You may be wondering what the job description is for an "Inserter" like I did when I first saw the listing. Well, let me tell you. An Inserter inserts those annoying advertisements and coupon packet things into the newspapers. That's right, I'm applying for that job. Anything to get in the door, I figure.
- I'm also strongly considering going to either South Korea or Thailand to teach English sometime in the near future. That would be a lot cooler than being a ruddy inserter.
- Jewels painted one of my big toenails a splotchy pink a few weeks back, and the pink is now officially gone.
- I spent six dollars on conditioner today, which is quite possibly more than I've spent on the stuff in my entire life, considering I never used to buy it as a short-maned man/child.
- But this long hair gets tangly.
- And it needs better product.
- I think the last time I did one of these blogs in list format, I went all the way to fifty, which is about twice as much as ideal, I think.
- I added #26 to avoid sounding braggadocious.