During the last few years, I've dreaded having to answer this question from family: What do you want for your birthday? I never knew how to respond. Should I respond sarcastically? I'd love some clothes. Should I respond economically? Money, please. Or honestly? Something thoughtful and cheap.
But the days of cringing at that question are behind me. I'm unashamed to announce that I've compiled detailed notes of everything I truly want and, in some cases, need for my birthday. If you have any of the forthcoming items, have access to it, can afford it, want to send me something, are feeling charitable, or simply want to get rid of it–feel free to send it my way.
1. Dave's Killer Bread
The first time I went shopping in Connecticut, I bought bread that wasn't Dave's...and I ate it...and I hated it.
2. Earplugs
Because let's be honest, sometimes it gets a little raucous in my classroom.
3. A beard trimmer
My students keep making fun of my inability to grow a full beard, so I might as well concede defeat.
4. A drink koozie that says "World's Best Teacher"
Because oh the irony!
5. One unused match
An ungodly number of mostly ungraded papers are piling up on my bedroom floor. I need to get rid of them somehow.
6. A letter
Every day I check my mailbox hoping I'll find a letter. Every day but one I've been disappointed.
7. Skittles
A few months back I wrote this sentence about a rainbow: I'd love to grab that arc and turn its frown upside down, chomping into it like I would a slice of watermelon, the bombardment of flavors gushing my buds with the mixed nectar of all those colors. But I was wrong when I wrote that. I'd already tasted the rainbow. And I want to taste it again.
8. Some good symphony music
Preferably something with a lot of piano and cello. I played some music from the The Piano Guys one day during class and now my students make fun of me daily for my taste in music. So I might as well embrace it.
9. Movies
I'm getting tired of giving traditional lessons. It's time to infuse a teacher's best friend into my classes.
10. Adrian Peterson
My fantasy football team could use a boost.
I actually didn't have an easy time thinking of those ten things because, to be honest, I have it all: books, a job, and about 150 kids who treat my books like a dog treats its chew toys, who try to get away with eating sunflower seeds during class, who run in the hallway, who don't do their homework, who leave my room in a frenzy, as if a quick exit was saving them from some impending doom caused merely by my presence, who forget their pencils, notebooks and manners more often than I thought possible, and who every so often surprise me enough to make all those other things disappear, like on my birthday, when each class sang to me in genuine, exuberant tones, which was as touching as it was unexpected, for it had been more than a week since I'd mentioned to just three students when my birthday was.
In other words, I love my job even though I hate it. (Love's a strong word, as is hate. I should say that I think I can tolerate my job even though it's impossibly overwhelming.)
But the days of cringing at that question are behind me. I'm unashamed to announce that I've compiled detailed notes of everything I truly want and, in some cases, need for my birthday. If you have any of the forthcoming items, have access to it, can afford it, want to send me something, are feeling charitable, or simply want to get rid of it–feel free to send it my way.
1. Dave's Killer Bread
The first time I went shopping in Connecticut, I bought bread that wasn't Dave's...and I ate it...and I hated it.
2. Earplugs
Because let's be honest, sometimes it gets a little raucous in my classroom.
3. A beard trimmer
My students keep making fun of my inability to grow a full beard, so I might as well concede defeat.
4. A drink koozie that says "World's Best Teacher"
Because oh the irony!
5. One unused match
An ungodly number of mostly ungraded papers are piling up on my bedroom floor. I need to get rid of them somehow.
6. A letter
Every day I check my mailbox hoping I'll find a letter. Every day but one I've been disappointed.
7. Skittles
A few months back I wrote this sentence about a rainbow: I'd love to grab that arc and turn its frown upside down, chomping into it like I would a slice of watermelon, the bombardment of flavors gushing my buds with the mixed nectar of all those colors. But I was wrong when I wrote that. I'd already tasted the rainbow. And I want to taste it again.
8. Some good symphony music
Preferably something with a lot of piano and cello. I played some music from the The Piano Guys one day during class and now my students make fun of me daily for my taste in music. So I might as well embrace it.
9. Movies
I'm getting tired of giving traditional lessons. It's time to infuse a teacher's best friend into my classes.
10. Adrian Peterson
My fantasy football team could use a boost.
I actually didn't have an easy time thinking of those ten things because, to be honest, I have it all: books, a job, and about 150 kids who treat my books like a dog treats its chew toys, who try to get away with eating sunflower seeds during class, who run in the hallway, who don't do their homework, who leave my room in a frenzy, as if a quick exit was saving them from some impending doom caused merely by my presence, who forget their pencils, notebooks and manners more often than I thought possible, and who every so often surprise me enough to make all those other things disappear, like on my birthday, when each class sang to me in genuine, exuberant tones, which was as touching as it was unexpected, for it had been more than a week since I'd mentioned to just three students when my birthday was.
In other words, I love my job even though I hate it. (Love's a strong word, as is hate. I should say that I think I can tolerate my job even though it's impossibly overwhelming.)